


If I Were A Boy

by CKM_Writes



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-15 14:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18075521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CKM_Writes/pseuds/CKM_Writes
Summary: Ashley might or might not have fallen in love with her childhood friend, but can she reconcile those feelings when she finds out that he is a she?





	1. French Braids and Wedding Dresses

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, so they tell authors to write the story that they are terrified to write. This is that story for me. I truly hope I can do it justice. Please have patience with me as I try to work my way through this one.

“I'm sorry, I just don't know if I can do this,” Ashley said. Her eyes quivered with unshed tears.

Jessica's eyes something between hurt and anger. “Do what? Support me? This isn't about you, Ash. This is something I need to do for myself. I thought you of all people would have my back. I thought you were supposed to be my best friend.”

“Best friend? As in the first person you talk to when you are going to make a decision that will change your whole life? That will affect my life?”

“Why do you keep making this about you? You know what? Fuck it! I've been dealing with this shit on my own forever and I was an idiot to think you'd understand. To think you cared about me and not just your image. I'm so sorry that I would be an embarrassment to be friends with.” Jessica hated speaking with this much venom, wanted to stop, but the betrayal hit so hard.

Ashley's tears streamed down her face and her words broke into sobs and hiccups, “I … love…you!”

Jessica stared at Ashley for a few moments, unable to speak. This was bullshit. Everything was bullshit. With trembling hands and a heart threatening to burst through its cage, Jessica turned and left without saying a word.

****

When Ashley Jones was a little girl, she watched the classic Disney movies and dreamed of the day she'd stand before her handsome prince in a flowing white gown with a train so long she would need four bridesmaids just to help her carry it.

Her groom would be strong and rugged, the kind that would slay a dragon without messing up his hair and then carry her off in his manly arms to some castle in the sky.

Christoper Smith was not that kind of boy. He was kind and gentle, the adults called him “sensitive”. While the other first grade boys were playing football and wrestling and fighting imaginary dragons, he was braiding hair. In fact, he wove a better French braid than most of the girls in their grade and he rarely left the circle of girls. 

He might not have made a very manly husband, but it turned out that he made a pretty great best friend. He served as Ashley's one constant in a life where her last name changed every two or three years with her mother's remarriages. He could always make her smile and he sang so sweetly that she could lose herself in his voice.

They started to drift apart in adolescence, her mother forbade them from hanging out the way they used to. She said it was unnatural for a boy and girl to spend that much time together and that hormones would kick eventually. Maybe it was the separation or maybe her mom was right about the hormones, but Ashley started to see Christopher differently.

He was pretty. With his unruly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, he started to attract the attention of a lot of girls, but he seemed to be oblivious. Like she kissed him behind the bleachers at the homecoming game their junior year and he didn't even notice kind of oblivious. Maybe the friend zone was a real thing or maybe he was batting for the other team. It wouldn't have been the first time that she wondered.

Senior year, Ashley's mother remarried again and, this time, they moved across town. Changing schools in her last year was hard and she barely kept in touch with any of her old friends, so she wasn't at all prepared when a blonde girl with unruly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes showed up on her doorstep.


	2. Act Like a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley reflects on her handling of the news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, in advance, for a novel’s worth of author’s notes:
> 
> First of all, thank you all so much for your warm reception to this story. This story means a lot to me personally and I am so glad it will have an audience here as well.
> 
> Comments are moderated for this story, not so much for my protection, but rather to keep any transphobic messages from being published even for a moment that might upset some of the readers of this story. (When such themes arise in the story proper, I will do my best to post appropriate warnings)
> 
> If you are looking for g!p smut, I'm afraid you have come to the wrong place. There are thousands of other authors who would be glad to service your needs and could do so much better than I could.
> 
> I have considered writing this for some time, particularly since reading the tweet that refers to this possibility. (See Jessica’s original line in the tent scene in the PP2 shooting script page 88)
> 
> Finally, I was originally going to write a flashback from Jessica’s POV, but I will try to incorporate that information more organically.
> 
> So, if you are still up for it, please enjoy the next chapter of If I Were a Boy!

Ashley stood in behind a still-open door, trying to wrap her mind around all of this new information. She’d barely given him... her a chance to talk and now Ashley was left feeling guilty and full of questions. How do you even decide to do something like that? Sure, Chris... Jessica (dammit, that was going to take some getting used to) had always been a little on the feminine side, but Ashley had always been called a “tomboy” without ever actually wanting to BE a boy (although jeans with actual pockets might be nice). Chr... Jessica was right, this wasn’t Ashley’s life, not her choice to make, so why had she reacted the way she did? Ashley finally closed the door and slumped against the wall. What was she supposed to do now?

 

After a few minutes of just staring into space and listening to her own breathing, Ashley pulled out her phone. She looked at the last message again.

Chris: I need to talk to you about something important. It needs to be in person, are you home?

She had replied with a simple K, not realizing how heavy the conversation would turn. Her finger hovered over the keyboard for a moment, but she swiped into her browser instead and entered “My best friend just came out to me as transgender. What do I do?” She laughed when the first result was a Quora article that matched her query verbatim and headed up to her room to read.

First, she walked through the suggestions. She was already working on the name and pronoun thing. Jessica was already dressing the part, so would need to ask how “out” Jessica was. She definitely needed to talk to someone. At least, she already had that covered. Courtesy of her mother's frequent remarriages, Ashley had a standing reservation with her psychologist, Frannie.

She followed the link at the end of the article and continued her google search beyond that. Some things she kinda knew, but some things she hadn't really thought about before, like asking someone which pronouns they use rather than their “preferred pronouns” acknowledges that being trans is not some kind of mood or preference, but coming to terms with their gender identity. And, not everybody feels like they were born in the wrong body. Also, don't ask questions about whether or not they've had surgery. Basically, don't make assumptions and don't ask personal questions that you wouldn't want people to ask you.

By the time she'd read enough that the remaining articles were just regurgitating information from previous articles she'd read and watched a handful of YouTube channels hosted by trans-people, it was almost midnight. Ashley was exhausted, but she needed to do two things. She changed her contact from Chris to Jessica and fired off a text.

Ashley: Sorry about earlier. It was a lot and I'm not going to lie and say I understand, but I absolutely support you. You are my best friend. I'm here if you want to talk. xoxo Ash

She made her way downstairs. It looked like her mom was still out with her new boyfriend. Ashley grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and headed back upstairs. She brushed her teeth and changed into PJs. She looked at her phone one more time. Still no answer. She considered typing something else. Considered calling. But, she really didn't want to push too hard. Just as she was about to fall asleep her phone buzzed.

Jessica: Thx. Talk tomorrow xoxo Jess

Ashley smiled at the message and drifted into sleep.


End file.
